AISubs v3.8.2
Shushugoku Talk!
Is it a talk show?
Yes, it is.
This show is about the hobbies, jobs, and lives of guests.
I'm curious about how you became a person.
I'm curious, too.
Why you came to this kind of business?
Why you became a comedian?
While learning, we'd like to give you some advice.
Yes, I'd like that.
Let's raise our spirits up!
Yes!
So, our first guest!
Yes!
We've got a big name for you.
Big!
Yes.
You're a world-renowned manzai artist.
Of course!
You're the most popular young man now.
Well, well...
A complete manzai artist.
You're going to take on a new generation.
Yes!
You're going to take it all in one go.
Yes, I'm that kind of person.
I see.
Let me introduce you.
Yes!
It's Reiwa Roman Matsui Kemuri!
Hello!
W-w-w-what are you doing?
Huh? What?
What are you doing?
Huh? No, no...
Reiwa Roman Matsui Kemuri here...
Your face...
Your face... I mean, you have a glass thing in front of you...
Ah, that's... well...
Well...
YouTube-wise?
Huh?
I think you should put it YouTube-wise...
No, no...
I... I didn't do anything!
No, no...
You're the most suspicious when you say you didn't do anything!
No, no, no...
It's not like that!
I didn't do anything, so you can show it.
And...
I did it in the car.
And you can show it in the car, too.
No, the car...
He's working hard on his manzai.
He's serious about manzai.
He's only thinking about comedy and manzai.
No, I had trouble.
Compared to that, you...
I didn't do anything! What do you think I did?
It's horrible.
I didn't do anything! I had trouble in the car.
Even if you show it in the media, it's not a season.
I'm not a big criminal.
Isn't it bad?
Is your lower body okay?
My lower body is fine.
Why?
Because I'm wearing a tea set.
What is tea?
It's a costume, so just show me.
Tea clothes, black socks, and tea shoes.
Is tea black okay?
Tea is fine.
Why is tea brown okay?
Tea is good.
It turns into dirt.
I didn't do anything.
I didn't come with that intention.
So, the shape is like this.
This can't be helped.
Then don't call me.
Ask me anything.
Compra.
If you can't do it like this, don't call me.
Compra. Can't be helped.
Yeah, Compra.
You can't call me for Shishi Goku Talk.
Yeah, can't be helped.
If you had set a schedule earlier, this would have happened.
Yeah, yeah.
It would have been too late.
First, it would be like Shishi Goku's Goku is Korean Goku.
Wow, you're good at saying things.
You're good!
It's hard to do.
You have skills.
I do.
You do.
I don't know if I'm hearing it myself, but I feel like the way you're saying things is completely different.
Can I say something, Kemura?
If you're being mocked in the low voice stage version, you really don't know what you're saying.
I'm telling you to stop.
I don't know what you're saying.
Calm down and let's go.
It doesn't make any sense.
Even Yoshimoto headquarters is not being cornered by executives.
I'm not cornered. If I'm cornered, I'll get in a car.
Stop voice changer.
Then, voice changer...
Let's do that. It's a little low, but...
Let's raise it.
It's high, right?
We can hear it.
Can you hear it?
It's very loud.
This is...
It's a female criminal.
A female criminal.
It's a female criminal's voice.
This is it!
Nice, nice.
No, no.
It's a voice of someone who was caught for drunk driving.
That's right.
Evening news. Evening news.
You won't understand it.
Can I ask you a question?
What is it?
I asked and you said you're a doctor and your family is not suffering,
but why do you drive drunk?
I don't drive drunk!
Look at my bag.
I didn't take anything.
It's thrilling.
It's thrilling!
I'm not a money-making youngster who's enjoying the thrill!
Oh, I see.
It's not a pattern you can't get back.
Sorry, but this is a serious situation, so please let it be like this.
I can't help it.
I'm sorry.
Just end it already!
I'm sorry, but you know...
I'm a criminal, you know.
Don't say that!
Don't say things that aren't true!
[PH] Q&A
So, shall we ask a lot of questions?
Yes!
What's your real name?
I'm Komtuyo, and I'm the number one in Matsui!
Number one in Matsui!?
That's a friendly name!
Yes, I am!
Are you from Matsui!?
Yes!
You call Matsui Kemuri, don't you?
How do you know?
Matsui is Matsui, I see!
Well, let's call you Matsui Kemuri.
Matsui Kemuri...
Hey, this is written in Chinese characters!
I thought Matsui Kemuri is that.
Oh, yeah, I guessed so!
Yeah, you pronounce it like Kemuri so it's Matsui, then?
You could imagine it as minimizing all kinds of crimes with Kemuri.
That makes sense!
That's where it comes from!
It's not a name of a gangster!
Well, it's a man who is a middle-aged man of a Reiwa romance.
But there are only two of us now.
Is it a joke or a joke?
It's a joke!
Because I'm always joking like this.
It seems like you're still joking.
I am.
I'm surprised.
Your teeth are already bald.
What?
No, it's fine.
Hagihajime.
Hagi... no, Hagihajime?
It's Hagihajime.
I'm not Kagehajime-san!
I'm sorry, I'm from a different generation, so I don't know who you're referring to!
So, you're taking your medication for AGA?
Yes, I'm going to the AGA clinic for a YouTube project and I'm taking my medication.
Wow!
Has it been improving?
It's only been about a month since I started, so I don't think it's improved much.
So, you're just starting?
Just starting means you're changing your name.
Are you just Mitsuru-san?
Not Yakumitsu, but there's not much smoke.
Do you fight with your father, Kameda?
No, I don't.
I don't fight with Toru Sashimoto either.
Are you a double-sided person?
I'm not a double-sided person!
I'm just a normal person.
Yaku... Yaku... Yaku... Haji... Hame... Hae...
I don't remember that.
Okay, so...
Shall we start by tracing you back to your young boyfriend days?
Where were you born and where are you from?
I'm from Yokohama City in Kanazawa Prefecture.
Yokohama... So your current family is also from Yokohama?
My family has moved back to Tokyo.
Where in Tokyo?
In Shibuya Ward in Tokyo.
In which...
Which... Which ward?
No, I'm not telling you! You said Shibuya Ward, right?
Which ward?
I'm not telling you!
What about your house?
I'm not telling you! Why are you getting more detailed?
Then can you tell me the four digits below your family phone number?
Are you trying to identify me or something?!
Hahahahaha!
Do you only use it for some kind of identification?
Uh...
Can I smoke it?
That's scary!
I just sounded like I was having a lot of fun.
Is this a search of some kind?
Why are you searching for me?
I don't want you to be so nervous.
I'm not doing anything!
This is a variety show, right?
That's right. I'm searching for you.
What is it?
I want you to get caught.
I'm not doing anything!
Why do you want me to get caught?
Where is the main bank?
I don't have any money in my pocket.
Which country did you get your instructions from?
No, we don't use foreign servers.
Is there a way of calling you like Luffy?
Yes, there is. But it's not like a group of thieves.
Is it different? Is it Asian?
They say I look like Azier Kong, but they say I only say Cookie and the others.
So you don't have to make it Asian?
I don't commit crimes by being called Asian.
Did you bring your first class?
I didn't bring it, it's not fake.
It's not fake.
Oh, I see. I'm glad.
Where did you get it?
Don't be fooled.
[PH] The child who was a little bit mischievous.
What kind of child were you in elementary school?
Why do you ask me all of my life?
I was a bright child in elementary school.
Yeah, like club activities like soccer and such.
I used to do some schoolwork like swimming and stuff, but when it came to club activities, I used to play table tennis.
Table tennis and swimming are sports.
I guess you could say that.
You didn't play hula hoop?
I didn't play hula hoop. I'm not Asian.
If you're denying it, just say you're not Asian.
I'm not Asian.
I understand!
Why do you eat it?
Don't pick up the trash!
So you're good at swimming.
Yes.
Can you swim while you're sitting?
It's backstroke.
Who calls it backstroke?
Backstroke?
Backstroke.
Who reads books?
Everyone calls it backstroke.
Don't call it backstroke.
Don't you call it backstroke?
I don't need it. It's meaningless even if I do it here.
What were you good at swimming?
Well, isn't it like crawling?
Let's say crawling.
Please do.
I will do crawling.
Okay.
Is it really crawling?
It is crawling.
It doesn't look like crawling.
It's because it's glass, right?
I am crawling.
Really?
My legs are also crawling.
Please do a breath in and out.
Is it a new gag?
It's not a new gag.
I'm not a breathless joker.
Can you do it a little faster?
That movement.
What?
Is that...
Are you being attacked by a sparrow?
No, I'm not.
I'm not running away desperately.
You're cute, Mr. Ikemuri.
No, I'm not.
Then please remove your glasses.
If you're that cute.
I can't do that.
It's hard.
I'll be banned.
You won't be banned.
I'm not a face bandai!
[PH] Face bandai
How good are you at ping pong?
I've been playing for 6 years.
And I've won the best 8 in a group match in Tokyo.
Best 8 in Tokyo? That's pretty amazing.
I'm pretty good at it.
Can you show me some form of ping pong?
Shadow's style.
Shadow's ping pong.
Shadow's racket.
I-is this how you do it?
Please sit down.
Sit down? Why?
Because we can see your face.
Could you stand up for a moment without worrying about the voice changer?
[PH] Yes, I'm standing up.
Ah, yes, yes, yes.
Ah, are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Yes, yes, I'm fine.
Let's do it.
Your head is sticking out a little.
Is it bad?
It's yellow now.
Your income is zero now.
It's not red when you come out.
Oh, oh, oh, that's good.
That's good.
Oh, oh, oh...
Hahahahaha!
You're mixing freshly cooked dried fish.
I'm not mixing!
I'm not mixing freshly cooked dried fish!
Like you're cutting it up!
I don't know how to cut it!
You're singing in a big room.
I'm not mixing, I'm just focusing on it.
Please say, «shirashi», while you do it.
Please.
[PH] Here we go!
Next, if it's sushi, yes.
If it's sushi, this sushi bowl, yes.
This sushi bowl, I just mix it with hot rice.
I don't know that song!
Which university do you go to?
I go to Keio Jijuku University.
What?
What just happened?
Keio, right?
We're high school students, so...
Yeah, Akoda High School.
Do you still look down on high school students?
I don't!
Do you look down on us?
I don't!
I'm a comedian, so I don't look down on people like that!
Good for you!
So you think we're superior?
That's not true!
Huh?
People don't build people on top of people, Fukuzayu Kichi said that too.
Who said that?
The person who made Keio!
Keio-made person, Fukuzayu Kichi!
I don't know what you're saying.
Why? Isn't it too high school?
Keio University of Technology Law Department.
Yes, I'm in the Law Department.
Do you know much about the law?
Well, I'm learning about it.
Then I will ask you questions now.
Please decide whether you are guilty or not.
I'm fine with it.
Can I ask you a favor?
I understand.
Then I will ask you first.
If you kill your mother...
I'm guilty!
I don't even need my mother.
Then I'll say guilty.
Guilty!
Okay, okay.
Picking up your best friend's bed.
Guilty!
I'll say guilty for picking up anything.
Okay, are you ready?
Yes.
Picking up a woman's manhida and eating it.
Guilty!
This is pretty difficult.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Man...
I said it already.
I'll go first.
Huh?
I said I'd wait, but you fell.
Was that an accusation?
It was an accusation. Not really.
It was just an accusation.
Wasn't it just a man?
Was it an accusation?
No, it's a crime to say obscene words without thinking.
Then, is a meat bun also not allowed?
A meat bun is allowed.
You mean a meat bun?
No, it's not allowed.
Huh?
There's no such word.
I'm a little surprised about this.
Your father is in charge of taking over the Daiwa Shoken.
Yes, he's now vice president.
A debt collector.
So, Mr. Ekkeburi is going to be a debt collector?
Well, since he's vice president, I don't know how to say it, but I think you can say a debt collector.
Your father... I don't know if I should ask you this...
Does he have any money?
Don't ask me that!
Your savings...
It's too straightforward.
Your savings...
I don't know. I don't know about my parents' savings.
Can't you ask your parents?
I can't.
Can you tell by guessing?
I can't tell by guessing.
I'm sure I'm over 100 years old.
What about slowly diluting and drinking medicine that makes you sick,
and then giving up early and then continuing later?
That's a crime.
Ah, it's a crime for Dio Brando.
No.
Dio Brando is a crime, then.
Dio is a crime.
Covering up your face, shedding blood, and covering up your face, and having your horns sticking out like this.
Yes, yes. Your lower back.
It's a crime.
And making you become a vampire.
How is it?
I don't know much about women. I'm sorry. I don't know much about women.
If you're looking at me like that, it's a crime not knowing much about women.
It's a crime, isn't it?
No, no, it's not!
Call me!
I don't know! I'm always talking about bebops and stuff.
Hahaha!
Even if I'm with Kutsu-san and everyone else, we're always doing the same thing.
On the radio?
Yeah, we can't have fun together.
Was it Kutsu-san back then?
No, it was Kutsu-san!
I can't help but show you the same expression.
Sorry, I'm sorry.
You know, even at times like that, I'd just go ahead and laugh it off.
I was like, you're crazy, you know.
That's not true.
I'm sorry about that.
I'm laughing at you because you keep laughing at me.
That's what you were thinking about? I'm disappointed.
I'm disappointed.
I'm sad.
We two...
...will kill you.
Kill me?!
Why do I deserve this existence?
Is it a crime for us to enter your uterus?
It's not a housebreaking crime or anything like that.
A housebreaking crime?
It's a housebreaking crime for me to cook something in my own body.
So it's a housebreaking crime.
You have a good understanding of buildings, don't you?
So, we're going to enter a fairyland from there, right?
We're entering a fairyland.
Which fairyland?
Yoshimoto.
Ah, I see.
NH.
Which generation?
Tokyo 23rd generation.
Which generation is the same?
The same generation is like Yoneda 2000 or something like that.
Ah, it's Yoneni.
I don't really go into details.
Huh?
I don't go into details.
Yoneni.
Yoneni and the same generation.
I've said it a lot already.
It's become two, right?
Who else was there?
I don't think there's anyone else I know of.
Like Santa Monica.
Ah, I see.
You don't know of them, do you?
The way you use your condoms, right?
No!
Ah, sorry about that.
It's a manzai.
That's right.
You usually use condoms, right?
No, I don't.
Uh, I see.
I didn't know you used condoms.
You're so serious about condoms.
I like the sense of manzai!
You still don't use condoms, do you?
That's not true!
I'm already playing in M-1 with the band, you know?
Okay, okay!
No, no, that's not it!
That's an instrument!
No, no, no!
That's an instrument!
Then, what's the difference between a condom and an instrument?
Not the bands wearing hats and stuff like that.
No, I'm in trouble if I get bald here. I really need to get a real wig.
And I also need a letter.
What do you need?
A letter and a mime for you to do it for me.
I won't fight you.
What do you want me to do?!
Of course I'll do it!
I'll do a comedy!
Please have fun fighting!
[PH] The Battle of the Top 3
So you're graduating as a top student, right?
Yes, that's right.
Oh, wow.
You know, there's this NSC concert among 133 bands and you won the prize.
Yes, I won and became first place. It's amazing.
Do you remember the story from that concert?
I do remember it now.
Then, let's do it.
I don't have a partner.
No, you can just say what you want.
We'll just imagine it.
Okay, here we go.
You're the label man. Go ahead.
Um...
Oh, sure, the culture festival was fun.
Uh...
One yakisoba, please.
Yes...
Yes. You're so kind!
[PH] What is it?
It's not funny at all!
What did you say?
It's funny because you're a big guy!
You didn't think anything else was funny?
No!
I don't know why.
That's right!
I'm only giving you a head start!
[PH] The Head Start
Let me out of here! I want to show my face!
You want to show your face?
I want to show my face!
Then, can you express the feeling of wanting to show your face, the passion you feel, with the bass you have lying next to you?
Why do I have to play bass? I purposely have to play bass.
You're good at it, aren't you?
It says I'm good at it, so I'm sorry.
Well, I was doing it in a circle when I was in college, so I know a little bit about it.
Then, I'll turn it on for a moment.
You have a amp, don't you?
Yes.
What should I do?
Something like you're good at, like phrases and such.
Huh? Okay, I'll go.
[PH] I don't know.
Wait, wait, wait, just let me sit down.
Can you tell me?
Yukiko Akanashi what are you doing with that?
I don't know, but I want to know.
Really funny actually.
I like this!
I want to know all about you Yukiko...
You told me to show you my feelings!
[PH] The next day...
I see...
You want to go out, right?
I do!
But, you know...
If you just go out like that...
It could burn you...
Oh, I see.
So...
Can you wear a helmet?
A helmet?
Wear a helmet...
That way you can still see your entire silhouette.
Can I go out wearing a helmet?
Okay. The back of your head is fine. Just the helmet, please.
Let's have him on stage.
It's Matsui Kemuri!
Give me back my helmet!
What are you doing?
Give me back my helmet!
You!
This is not a joke.
What is this?
You're so ugly!
I'm talking to you like that.
Why is it okay for me to be on this show?
That's funny.
Is it okay for me to leave? I don't know what you're talking about.
Let's move on.
Thank you for your hard work.
It's over.
[PH] The next episode will be...
Thank you for your hard work. New project, 5 minutes of loneliness.
I'm Leotard in purple.
What?
What can you do?
Ajaconga.
Ajaconga?
[PH] Hahahahaha!
Please don't come out of your sleeves, but from the audience.
You're a professional wrestler.
I'll put it on you.
[PH] ♪ Our love is like a dream.
[PH] Hahahahaha!
It suits you perfectly.
It's so easy for me to put it on you!
Who are you talking about?
Thank you for your hard work.
I'm happy. It was fun.
It's not worth it.
Hahahahaha!
It's not worth it.
Really?
I had been changing my voice for a long time.
The last one you did was funny.
It was really funny. It was very just.
If I say it in a bad way, it wouldn't be funny.
I wouldn't be that kind of pin entertainer.
It was too perfect.
You had a ski head and you were wearing a pattern.
No, it wasn't.
The silhouette was like,
Why is there a miracle encounter here?
But the bass was funny.
It was funny.
Thank you.
You were doing like this from that glass.
It's my first time doing it with a glass.
Of course it is.
I don't think there's anyone who does something like Ado on bass.
You!
Why you!
Turn off the camera and look up, you idiot!
That's how it is.
It's over if you shoot me like this.